A letter to little me.
Dear inner child, little self, previous me,
You need to know you are loved beyond measure by the divine, your family, your dearest friends. Turn to them in all times, big and small.
You need to know it’s not too late. The timeline you have in your head is hurting you, do what you can to release this timeline and focus on being present to your deepest desires and feelings. The timeline is clouding your vision and preventing you from truly listening to these deep desires and feelings, release the timeline.
You do not need to shrink or go against your gut instinct for validation from others, especially boys and men.
You were never the reason your father wasn’t fully present throughout your childhood & adolescence. His choice to spend most of his time away from the family wasn’t because of you, your mom, or your sisters. This choice was his own unhealed inner childhood trauma that kept him from creating deep connection and being present in your life. This absence created an idea in your head that this is how relationships with men should feel, this is not true. It will be your own work to unlearn this unhealthy relationship mindset and create a new way of being that is grounded in love, connection, presence and standing strong in ensuring you are fully seen, heard, and appreciated in your relationship. Chart a new path, honey.
You never deserved to feel that the only time your father was present with you was during times of criticism or discipline. You can release the blame you carry towards yourself and him, he was living in familiar family patterns from his childhood and you, you my dear, were the child unable to impact how he showed up for you. When you experience criticism from men in your adulthood, it will be triggering to your little me. Hold her tenderly, listen to her and help her heal.
You often put the needs of others over your own and as a result, resentment grows quietly and deeply within. It will take you until you do your own healing work to realize this. You’ve been conditioned to keep the peace, say yes always, people please at all costs and it is going to hurt you. You can say no, stand firmly and confidently in your own knowing and still be fully loved. In fact, doing this will give you much greater room to love yourself fully and love others fully, without any resentment. What a gift.
You will lose your way and your voice at various points throughout your life. When this happens, turn inward, be still more often, quiet the buzzing and reconnect with the divine within you.
You will experience deep heartache in this life, partly because that is just the way life goes and partly because you have a heart that feels big and deep. With heartache comes eventual healing but only when you offer it to yourself. Feel the heartache and choose the healing. Do not move through, over or avoid feeling the heartache, as this will only lead to greater heartache down the road. Recognize having a heart that feels with abundance is a gift, a gift that comes with great risk. Choose the risk of heartache, over the comforts of protection.
You have a light that shines bright, sometimes you will forget this. In times of forgetting, turn to the people, places and practices that remind you of your light and let that light shine, girlfriend. Let yourself shine, sweetie.
You are loved abundantly. Always remember this truth.
Love,
Your more celebrated self
